20 black humor anekov

I caught both - that his wife 's lover. to death.

Dystrophic came to the pharmacy:.
- Give me an aspirin.
- You wrap?.
- No thanks, I Pokachi.

Once upon a time there were two logger. And once one of them cut off his hand.
Another immediately picked her up, put in a plastic bag and took a friend to the nearest hospital. The surgeon looked up and said:.
- Yes, the hand - a complicated matter, faster than four hours not manage.
A friend came in 4 hours:.
- How is it? .
- Yes, on the first floor in the playing table tennis.
A friend went down and actually found his friend, who played a hand operated.
A week later, they again cut down the trees and the same woodcutter chopped off his leg.
The second thrust it into a plastic bag and took the victim to the same surgeon. The doctor, after looking around, said:.
- Leg - it's much harder to. Come in six hours.
When the woodcutter returned six hours later, he found a colleague playing football. A week later, they again cut the wood and the same.
woodcutter chopped off his head. His friend stuck it in the bag and took tsellofannovy to the doctor, who said that this time must be.
come in 10 hours. He came in 10 hours.
On the face there is no doctor.
- How is it?.
- died.
- Do not be discouraged because. After all, the head - a complex operation.
- Yes, what the hell the operation! .


- And why you do not like skinny girls?.
- I am on the boards and 'll sleep in a coffin!.

Man puts girl on a motorcycle in the back seat, giving her a helmet and says:.
- You did not strongly fastened, so that nurses are not in pain.

The director calls the cemetery director sports store:.
- How much did you sell last month, motorcycle racing?.
- Five pieces.
- So. one another, then rolls around.

Fire at school in Texas. A second fire:.
- I'm going to throw the students out of the window, and you catch!.
- Ok!.
A few minutes later:.
- Why are blacks not catch?.
- A b. L, I thought that these burnt!.

A man went to hell, and sees before him three doors. He looked into the first guys out there in the pan fried.
' No, it's not for me! ' .
' No, it's not for me! ' . He went into the third, where the men stand knee-deep in shit and smoke.
' Well, it's better than the rest! ' . Then the devil comes and says:.
- Well, Che, smoked, and now eat up.

The contradictory feelings - this is when you're in a crowd at a concert in the open air, and here you are calling to report the death of a person. And you can not either turn off the music (and dance to keep his feet ), or quickly get out of the crowd to extraneous sounds could be heard, and nothing osta1tsya as a strained expression on his face said, ' I am very sorry for you. I am so Sochua vstvuyu you! '.

Gathered a large Georgian family at the table. All the drinking, eating, telling stories of life. Then an old Georgian said:.
- I went to my grandson 's room, look in the locker, and there is a package of cannabis!.
all:.
- Wah - wah - wah, he probably smokes.
Then another old Georgian said:.
- I went to my granddaughter 's room, look in the locker, and there is a condom!.
all:.
- Wah - wah-wah, it is probably a member of the.

Girl:.
- Young man, you 're laughing without end?.
- No end I would not laugh.

- Mom, mom, in my chair Bob throws!.
- Well, and you throw it!.
- I can not - I have it runny!.

- I have you, Nick, happy to be offended, but I'm afraid that it is better.
than that of nature, I still can not get.

- Dad, and my grandmother just this train go?.
- A fine boy, as if you're not distracted, unscrew the nut.

Comes Arab sheikh at the slave market:.
- I have 2 white and half black.

Death comes to us in black and with an oblique. And the flies - in shorts, T-shirt and a newspaper.

- What is your height, the patient?.
- 175 cm, and Dr..
- I am not a doctor, I - Carpenter.

The waiter ran to the table a visitor:.
- Please, eat fish more quickly, which I have just brought!.
- Why is faster?.
- Because it's sanitary inspection.

Yesterday, in a dark alley met Nikolai Valuev and Marilyn Manson.
Both crap... ))).

- Honey, Do not commit us to. an act of love, to realize our spiritual harmony and unity,.
aside foolish prejudices and transcend the bounds of what is permitted?.
- Nah, I will not give up your ass!.